Isn't Burgalry Romantic?: How to Steal a Million (1966)

            Audrey Hepburn. In Paris. Wearing a wardrobe designed by Givenchy, and jewelry by Cartier. The opening credits are enough to sell How to Steal a Million, and it's a film that lives up to its credits! The movie is part comedy, part romance, and part suspenseful, million-dollar art heist.

            The film centers around Nicole Bonnet, daughter of a wealthy art collector. Nicole's father has just sold one of his pieces in a major auction, but instead of being proud, she's upset - because her father is actually an art forger. He replicates the style of famous painters to make "undiscovered" masterpieces which he sells for hundreds of thousands. Nicole scolds her father and reminds him that what he's doing is illegal, but he won't listen. (And Nicole won't report him, probably because he's her dad, but maybe also because they live in a mansion and her whole wardrobe is Givenchy, and who would want to give that up?)

             Nicole is obviously frustrated, but can't do much to control her father. He's already agreed to loan a famous sculpture, the Cellini Venus, to the Kleber-Lafayette art museum. The only problem is that it's not a Cellini Venus, it's a Bonnet Venus - sculpted by Nicole's grandfather. That night, Nicole is woken up by a burglar breaking into the house. The man is trying to steal a painting, so Nicole pulls an old gun off the wall and points it at the intruder while trying to call the police. When she realizes what the man is trying to steal, however, she puts down the phone - because the painting is yet another of her father's forgeries, a fake Van Gogh.

            Nicole tries to put down the gun, but it fires and grazes the burglar's arm. Since she can't call the police for fear they would investigate her father, Nicole bandages the man's arm and drives him back to his apartment at the Ritz. The burglar's name is Simon Dermott, and he's fallen a little in love with Nicole, to her confusion.

            The men from the art museum come to pick up the "Cellini Venus," to Nicole's dismay. Her father signs a series of insurance paperwork, but there's a problem - the paperwork includes a scientific test of the sculpture, which would prove it was a fake. Nicole and her father try to stay calm until the museum people leave, and then Nicole comes up with a plan.

            She visits Simon at the Ritz and asks him to steal the Venus from the museum. She won't tell him why, because she can't rat out her father, and he considers it an impossible burglary. But he takes her to the museum anyway so they can scope things out and look at the high-tech security measures. Unbeknownst to Nicole, Simon isn't actually a burglar - he's a specialist in museum security and forgeries.

            Simon comes up with a plan which involves a toy boomerang he bought at the park, a bucket, and a disguise that makes Nicole look like a washerwoman. They agree to meet at the museum the next day for the heist. Meanwhile, a tycoon named Davis Leland who's obsessed with buying the "Venus" takes Nicole out to lunch. He admits to using her to get to her father, but also falls in love with her. Davis comes to the Bonnet house to ask about the sculpture, and proposes to Nicole with a massive diamond ring. She's overwhelmed and not in love, but she's in a rush to get to the museum, so she accepts the ring.

            And now comes the heist - which is hilarious, romantic, all-around perfect, and I won't spoil it by explaining. All I will say is - whoever invented the two-people-stuck-in-a-tight-space trope deserves an award. The rest of the film proceeds in its lovely, fashionable fashion, and winds up with a very satisfying ending. The wonder of How to Steal a Million is how timeless it really is - it could have been filmed yesterday and nothing but the cars and clothes would tell you otherwise. Prepare to be thoroughly entertained!