"Mr. Bette Davis": The Hollywood Husband Dilemma

 

            One of the commonly-heard questions about Old Hollywood actresses tends to be, "Wait, how many husbands did she have?" And while this question is problematic in itself - she was a powerhouse actress in a Hollywood run by men, who cares how many times she was married - it does tend to linger in your mind. What was the deal with all the Hollywood husbands?

            Perhaps Bette Davis, known for her one-liners both on- and off-screen, summed it up best: "None of my husbands was ever man enough to become Mr. Bette Davis." The imbalance of power created by Hollywood stardom was simply too much for many men who felt threatened by their wife's acclaim, influence, and earnings. Sadly for dozens of actresses, this resulted in a string of divorces that were amplified by their prominent press coverage.

            Ginger Rogers was married five times and speaks in her autobiography, Ginger: My Story, about the truth behind the tabloids. Her first husband was a vaudeville performer and violent alcoholic much older than her, and the marriage disintegrated before she moved to Hollywood. In 1930 she saw All Quiet on the Western Front in theatres and fell for the leading man, Lew Ayres - and by 1934 they were married! If that isn't a Hollywood love story, I don't know what is. By all accounts Lew was the love of Ginger's life, so why didn't it work out?

             Answer: who's ever heard of Lew Ayres? (Sorry, Lew.)

            In 1933, Ginger had a breakout role in 42nd Street. She sang "We're in the Money" in Gold Diggers of 1933. And she danced on-screen with Fred Astaire for the first time, in Flying Down to Rio. Mrs. Ayres was quickly becoming America's newest sweetheart while her husband remained that nice guy who made B-movies, and oh, isn't he married to Ginger Rogers? Ginger tried to overcome the whole famous-wife thing by assuming the traditional roles that she'd seen her female relatives hold growing up. She cooked meals for Lew, cleaned the house, and hosted parties, all while being the primary moneymaker: and Lew refused to combine their bank accounts. For Ginger, this was a sign that he didn't trust her, and along with a healthy dose of her mother's interference they separated in the late '30s. 

            While Ginger made Top Hat and Swing Time and dated Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant, she tried to figure out where she went wrong and waited for Lew to beg her to come back. But he never did, and they got divorced for good in 1940. At six years, it would be her longest marriage. 

            You might be wondering at this point, why the analysis? Why do past relationships, successful or not, warrant attention so far in the future? Part of my inspiration for this article came from the recent drama surrounding Taylor Swift and her alleged breakup from longtime boyfriend Joe Alwyn. Something Taylor has struggled with her whole career is the media spotlight on her relationships, especially since they are a key influence on her songwriting. As she gains fame, influence, and yes, fortune, the desire to understand her love life remains. Why so many breakups - why so many breakup songs?

            Back to Bette Davis's point: Bette had four husbands, and none of them could be Mr. Bette Davis - they weren't "man enough." She's trying to say that it takes a great deal of so-called "manliness" to live partially in the shadows; to accept when your wife's star power is simply greater than your own and to be okay with that. For centuries women have been expected to be "behind every great man..." as the saying goes, but as Hollywood provided women with not only opportunity but international fame, the dynamic flipped. Suddenly, there existed women like Bette Davis and Ginger Rogers who were renowned worldwide; whose success toppled the male-dominated power structure of cinema. And the media began to reduce them to a string of relationships.

            The infuriating irony was that the Hollywood higher-ups controlled the lives of their actresses to the point where refusing a relationship with one could end a woman's career. Actresses were expected to follow the every whim of their studios, directors, and producers while at work, and at home suppress their ambition to preserve their husband's fame and reputation. Sometimes women would be stuck in PR relationships with their costars or influential men in the community. At 18 years old, Elizabeth Taylor was shoved by MGM into an all-expenses-paid wedding with Conrad Hilton Jr. to promote her movie Father of the Bride. On their honeymoon, Hilton was referred to as Mr. Taylor, and his six-month marriage to the iconic star would become his defining characteristic. As for Elizabeth, she would be married seven more times.

            All this is to say, look - Old Hollywood actresses saw their fair share of marriages. They inspired books like The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. But they were real women with real lives, and the fact that we remember them today is a testament to their genuine talent and ability to persevere through creepy studio heads, media slander, and discrimination. Everyone spends their lives searching for happiness, and that search was made harder by the obstacles these women faced. So if they were married five times, maybe it's because they never found someone who could value their success or honor their ambition. Maybe their husbands were violent or paranoid, thinking they could take advantage of their wife because she was young and beautiful. Maybe they felt restricted by marriages where the expectation was to stay at home when they could be out on the town. Maybe they did find real love, and gave it up to focus on their career - or were talked out of it by domineering stage mothers.

            So the next time you read about Zsa Zsa Gabor and her nine husbands, think about all the reasons we'll never know about why she led the life she did - and how much different her life might have been if that wasn't a fact we could easily look up.